Lunchtime disaster

Poppy has been in a good mood all morning, went to visit my Gran and she was fine. Got home in time for lunch, cooked some filled pasta for her to try - it's a finger food right? I even put half of it in the previously mentioned vegetable/tomato sauce and left half plain as not sure which she'd like. Also got some cheese cubes for her.
Sat her in highchair and placed a piece of each pasta and two cheese cubes on the tray. She went straight for the cheese, unsurprisingly, as she knew what it was. After that (I'm pretending to be busy at this point in the living room but am really watching like a hawk) she picked up the plain pasta. Didnt like the look of it so picked up sauced pasta. Threw it on the floor. Fair enough, different texture etc. Picked up another piece i'd put on the tray, squished it in her fingers and put it to her mouth. Success! I thought. But that was pretty much it, she ate about half of it and then decided she'd start the "pull off my bib" battle we occasionally have. She'd got as far as getting one arm out the the sleeve, with me telling her "no" over and over and her looking at me and pulling harder, when my temper went and I started shouting it..doesnt help i know but my patience is already thin at mealtimes and that's when she's being good (ish). Thought, right sod you and went to heat up a puree. After one mouthful of that she started spitting it out as soon as it touched her toungue.

Gave up at this point before I either stabbed myself in the eye with her baby spoon or left her to cry it out in the highchair, getting more and more covered in sauce that was on her hands and now in her ears and hair. Ripped off the bib, wiped her face and hands, and left her to her toys on the floor while I tried not to cry in the kitchen. Once again saved by a hot cup of sweet tea hiding from her out there, as when she sights me she cries (just to boost my fragile grip on motherhood ).

She must have been hungry. Ate weetabix at 815am and one rice cake at about 11am at my grans. Lunch was about 12ish. it's all very well the HV saying "just let her get stuck in with her hands" when she won't try anything we put in front of her that she doesnt already know what it is.

I know I'm not the only one going through this through various other mum's status updates and Netmums postings, but that is little comfort when you're seething with anger and frustration at your 10 month old.