Sunday, 31 January 2010

Kitchen cleanliness

You know how once you notice one thing is dirty that opens a whole can of worms? Just had a mad cleaning frenzy in my kitchen which started as just wiping down after dinner. I then saw that one cupboard had specks of food etc on it & that was it - just cleaned the doors of all the cupboards, washing machine and dishwasher, and the fridge freezer. Phew. But it does feel good.

Done a rough invite list for Poppy's party. Currently stands at 40 adults and 16 children. Gulp. Don't think everyone will come though. Better order a bigger cake just in case. Need to start buying bits and pieces in the weekly shop where possible too, like balloons and party plates and napkins etc. Would like to get all themed but that will cost the earth (an Upsy Daisy cake for 20 people is £40 alone from someone Daddy knows. Will perhaps have to scale down the design concept if it's now for 40) so hope not to get too hung up on it all matching. As long as there's plenty of toys and some sandwiches most little ones will be happy ;-)

5 more sleeps...

I'm getting excited now about our weekend away. Just been looking online for a restaurant for the saturday night and booked one that looks delish. Have got a table in the hotel for the night we arrive, but want to have a proper posh meal and drinks saturday night. AARRRGGGHHH I can't wait!!!!

My new feeding baby mantra from this day forward is FOOD IS FOR FUN UNTIL THEY'RE ONE. A wise friend has gently made an intervention before my stress levels led me to self-combust and the upshot is no more feeding stress - she eats what she can get into her mouth herself. End of. Hopefully that'll be whatever I'm eating, and will also have the positive effect of making us be more aware of our salt intake and more likely to cook dinner from scratch than relying on convenience foods. I concede that a few nights a week it may not be possible due to Daddy's shifts but hopefully those days will be less than those that we do manage it.

Saturday, 30 January 2010

Too self-indulgent?

Have been rather moan-y since starting this blog so I thought tonight i'd take the evening off from going on about how bad my life is. Caught up on Brothers & Sisters on the More4 website as only realised it was back on at episode 3, and I'm not one of those people who can dip in and out of a series, I have to see every single episode or it'd drive me crazy.

Poppy has been walking everywhere today at top speed, clinging onto fingers for dear life. She even negotiated going down the stairs, which was then her favourite game until my back gave out after about three times. It's quite a cardio workout doing that, especially as she can't go up herself so I'm lugging a 20lb lump back up on my hip each time! It's great fun though, even with the backache, as she's so happy when she's doing it she has this huge grin on her face the whole time.

It's a miracle

650am waking!!! Go Poppy!! Go me!!!

Off to my parents this morning before going to Water Babies class this afternoon, with the help of Mum to get her dressed at the end yay.

6 more sleeps until The Weekend Away.

Friday, 29 January 2010

Please sleep a bit later tomorrow...

After distracting her with some sweet potato cubes on her tray i managed to get a decent amount of dinner into her this evening. It may have helped that it was pasta in cheese sauce, with a bit of beef & aubergine hidden in it. Also had some raisins and banana after she started refusing the pasta. As she didn't kick up a fuss she was finished eating by 6pm, so thought i'd try giving her some milk before bed too as she's been waking so early for a bottle the past few days and also taking up to an hour to settle to sleep.

By the time ITNG finished after her bath (after her dinner seemed to work out ok last night so continuing with that atm) it was about 715pm so took her up to the nursery for the bottle, in the dark and quiet. It worked a dream, she took about 5-6oz and fell asleep on my lap. Bless her she's not done that on me since she was really little. It did only last a few seconds as the dog barked and woke her again, but that was fine as it meant she was awake being put down. After zipping up her sleeping bag and turning on her music I didn't hear a peep! Yay! It has been wonderful having an evening off from going up and down the stairs to shush her, or sitting alone upstairs with my book doing it as can't be bothered to keep climbing the stairs. And eating dinner earlier than 8pm was nice too, as we find it difficult to relax and enjoy our meal until she's settled, listening to crying is not exactly conducive to good digestion.

Daddy's at work until 5am tomorrow morning, so I'm hoping she a) doesnt get woken up by him coming in when she may have slept later, b) doesn't wake for a 5am bottle as then when he gets in we'll both get woken up again just as we're getting back to sleep. And yes we will get woken as the stupid dogs bark like there's someone murdering one of us when they can plainly see it's him coming through the door.

Is it too early to go to bed at 9 o'clock? I feel ancient these days, between the continued lack of sleep and daily stress of feeding, alongside the joint pains I've been having for months, my body feels about 60 not 28. Had repeat blood tests today before seeing GP again on monday, but I think she'll refer me to a Rheumatologist as the anti-inflammatories have done nothing. Would be so lovely to be able to have a full nights sleep without being woken up by pain in my shoulders or wrist, then the 5am starts would be more bearable.

Listen to me moaning on again, let's look for some positives:
- Poppy has been walking on your fingers since Wednesday and today has been flying up and down the room, can hardly keep up with her. Perhaps she won't crawl after all, despite being so close to it for weeks, and go straight to walking.
- Holding onto the bars of the closed babygate into the kitchen and watching the dogs go in and out of the dogflap, looking through it like she was in prison!
- Clearly signing 'more' to me after one mouthful of Weetabix at breakfast. And signing it all day for random things that make no sense for her to want more of, she must think that she gets whatever she wants if she does it, bless her.

Ok off to bed BUT will read for a bit. God I am getting old. At least then I'll be away from the temptation of eating any chocolate ;-)

Lunchtime disaster

Poppy has been in a good mood all morning, went to visit my Gran and she was fine. Got home in time for lunch, cooked some filled pasta for her to try - it's a finger food right? I even put half of it in the previously mentioned vegetable/tomato sauce and left half plain as not sure which she'd like. Also got some cheese cubes for her.
Sat her in highchair and placed a piece of each pasta and two cheese cubes on the tray. She went straight for the cheese, unsurprisingly, as she knew what it was. After that (I'm pretending to be busy at this point in the living room but am really watching like a hawk) she picked up the plain pasta. Didnt like the look of it so picked up sauced pasta. Threw it on the floor. Fair enough, different texture etc. Picked up another piece i'd put on the tray, squished it in her fingers and put it to her mouth. Success! I thought. But that was pretty much it, she ate about half of it and then decided she'd start the "pull off my bib" battle we occasionally have. She'd got as far as getting one arm out the the sleeve, with me telling her "no" over and over and her looking at me and pulling harder, when my temper went and I started shouting it..doesnt help i know but my patience is already thin at mealtimes and that's when she's being good (ish). Thought, right sod you and went to heat up a puree. After one mouthful of that she started spitting it out as soon as it touched her toungue.

Gave up at this point before I either stabbed myself in the eye with her baby spoon or left her to cry it out in the highchair, getting more and more covered in sauce that was on her hands and now in her ears and hair. Ripped off the bib, wiped her face and hands, and left her to her toys on the floor while I tried not to cry in the kitchen. Once again saved by a hot cup of sweet tea hiding from her out there, as when she sights me she cries (just to boost my fragile grip on motherhood ).

She must have been hungry. Ate weetabix at 815am and one rice cake at about 11am at my grans. Lunch was about 12ish. it's all very well the HV saying "just let her get stuck in with her hands" when she won't try anything we put in front of her that she doesnt already know what it is.

I know I'm not the only one going through this through various other mum's status updates and Netmums postings, but that is little comfort when you're seething with anger and frustration at your 10 month old.

Thursday, 28 January 2010

Better half to the day

After her morning nap Poppy was much happier, and entertained as we had visitors in the form of two friends with their babies. Lunch wasn't too bad in terms of fussiness and she slept this afternoon for about an hour and a half. Didn't want any milk after her nap though even after a few tries, never mind as had two yoghurts and some cheese.

My friend suggested that if we wanted to try more finger foods then give her dinner bit earlier and bath her afterwards, especially as she's not been going down to sleep well the past week or more. So thats what we did this evening, at 545pm gave pitta bread and cream cheese, cherry tomatoes and ham. Then pear and apple chunks, steamed, and yoghurt. The tomatoes and ham she wasnt sure of but that's fair enough as she's not had them before, she did eat some ham and sucked a few tomatoes ;-) Also ate half a pitta bread. SO all in all she must have eaten more than she did for dinner last night, wish me luck for tomorrow morning as another 5am start may finish me off!

Got my brother and his GF over for chicken dinner tonight, I'm hoping the leftover chicken and roasted veg can be her lunch tomorrow. I'm desperate for a hot bath too so may leave them playing Wii with Dave after food and sneak off upstairs...

Nightmare morning and its only 930

This follows on from a nightmare evening last night when Poppy refused to eat any supper without it being forced down her, then took an hour to go to sleep. Now after all that fussing you'd think exhaustion would keep her asleep until at least 6am.
505am she started crying, and i mean full on bawling. Couldnt comfort her so went to make up a bottle. She took the whole thing without stopping and went back down to sleep until gone 7am.

From then though she's pretty much moaned or cried with every breath until after over half an hour of fighting she's finally gone to sleep again. Breakfast was a no-no, even weetabix which she normally likes, then proper tears at wash and dress time.

What the hell are we doing wrong? Been wracking my brains for a solution by changing her feeding schedule around a bit so she'll eat more before bed, do we start the controlled crying technique at bedtime instead of staying in the nursery to settle her, what else can i do to get her to eat more? Whoever reassured me that it gets easier when they get past 3 months old was a big fat lier.

Thank god for cups of tea. I can tell I'm getting older as when i'm stressed i crave a nice hot, sweet cup. That's what I'm drinking now as i type this. I did briefly consider a nice sweet choccie biscuit to go with it as i sat down, but as my tummy is looking particularly flat today i dont want to spoil it.

I did go to that baby group yesterday and ended up being glad i went. Didnt leave until almost 12 o'clock and as she was pretty much a little angel yesterday until suppertime and slept for over 2 hours after lunch the afternoon flew by. Daddy was home before i knew it. It looks promising for having her birthday party there too, we can't technically hire it as it's a charity but we can have the party there and make a donation. Just need to talk to the boss lady who's back on Monday. Want to get it sorted now, was thinking of easy party foods for babies last night when i was meant to be going to sleep.

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Productive-ish day so far

Well, in so far as we were both dressed and fed by 830 and Poppy back asleep by 840. Then put some make up on and vacuumed downstairs. Trying to decide whether i can be bothered to go to the local family centre, havent been there since before xmas and would probably feel a bit out of it. Suppose i could just go for an hour for a change of scenery and a cuppa. Need to find out if they hire the place out for Poppy's birthday party too, have changed my mind about having a do in the house because it'll be far too stressful for all the parents bringing little ones. I know i'd be worried if i was at someone elses house that she would break something or fall and crack her head on the one bit of un-baby proofed surface & induce a guilt trip in the hosts.

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

Day out at hospital

Had to take Poppy for a scan on her kidneys today in the hospital. It involved her having a venflon put into her hand (causing pain despite a cold spray) and a few tears, but luckily there was a nice nurse there blowing bubbles to distract her. Then down to radiology for the dye to be injected. Next was a two hour wait for the dye to reach her kidneys, and the end of which she had to lie still for 20mins in the massive scanner machine. Yes that's right - a 10 month old wriggle, active baby must stay still for 20 minutes. Now bearing in mind we'd not let her nap in the car & she was asleep in the pram when we went back after the two hours, after a bottle, did we really think she's stay asleep when we moved her to the machine? Naievely I did believe she might. I was wrong. It was a close call after lots of shhhh-ing and belly stroking but something caught her attention and that was it. Wide awake.

So back to the ward for a sedative by mouth. Asked the nurse how long it'd take before she felt sleepy, normally takes about 20 mins. Thirty minutes later she was still rolling around the bed waving at the little girl and her mum in the next bed. Finally managed to nurse her to sleep, a feat in itself and impossible without a sedative, and even managed to make it all the way back down to radiology with her in my arms. Until entering the scanner room of course. Then PING! Eyes open, wide awake again. The nurse even said she'd never seen the sedative wear off that quickly. Great - we have a child that wont even sleep with the help of a prescribed sedative...

In the end we had to wrap her into a sheet and two of us hold her pinned down, while poor Daddy had a dead arm from holding her musical mobile above her head when she was in the machine. I have no idea if she was still enough as there were a few definite wriggles, but after 5 hours in the hospital I had gone past the point of caring. We'll see in a few weeks when we see her consultant for the results.

What made it such a difficult day was a particularly unhelpful Radiographer. I dont believe she could have children of her own by the stupid comments and suggestions she was coming out with for us to try and get her to sleep. She's not a toy with an off switch! If only it was that easy. And I felt a completely inadequate mother as i couldnt nurse her to sleep and get her in that bloody machine. I wonder how many people can still rock their child to sleep at her age? Is it because I didnt hold her enough when she was little or is it just that she would never have been a cuddler?

Anyway i managed to resist a chinese takeaway to make me feel better like Daddy did and had some pasta and veg. How much longer I'll stay away from that box of Cadbury's fingers is another story entirely.

Monday, 25 January 2010

Early start today, Poppy woke just after 530am. She's been good the past week sometimes even going past 7am. Gave her a bottle at 6am hoping she'd go back down like she usually does, but no such luck. And then cos she was so tired she was VERY moany until i managed to get her back to sleep about 845. Wish i could have gone back to bed but trying to get out of the habit of doing that, and its the only time i have to get ready and clear up after breakfast!

Got my haircut and colour this afternoon, will probably fall asleep when waiting for the highlights to take rather than reading a magazine. No biscuits for me today either at baby group as ate loads saturday and sunday, and have put a pound back on. Boo hoo.

Saturday, 23 January 2010

First drunken post

Had a good time out with a few work mates having a meal and a bottle of wine. You know that slightly cringe-worthy moment when you order a bottle and the barman asks "how many glasses?" And you reply "one thanks..." That was me. But it was so worth it. And then my fab brother came to pick me up so i didnt have to taxi it (Daddy at home with Poppy obv) despite his gf being ill at home. And then went upstairs to check on Poppy and she looks SO cute having fallen asleep on her side with one arm flung casually over her face. God I love her so much. I admit mostly when she looks cute sleeping, but sometimes when she's awake too...only joking..

She ate all her dinner tonight for Daddy without a fuss too after a pretty much fuss-free luch. Are we on the up and up with her eating? Will keep you posted.

Had a good Water Babies class too, Poppy was very excited and talking to anyone who looked her way, adult or baby. Even the instructor commented how lively she was today! It's such a joy being with her when she is so contented and happy. Long live Happy Popppy.
Yay a morning nap! It involved basically pinning her on her back in the cot with one hand whilst repeatedly saying "shhh-shhh-shhh-shhh" about a million times. She's such a little madam, her eyes are closing then she starts herself awake and begins yelling all over again. After 10 mins of that tho it was like the 'off' switch had been flicked and literally she just fell asleep in 2 seconds. dummy-out asleep. it was amazing to watch as I never get to see her fall asleep any more since she's not a cuddly baby & wont be nursed to sleep for a nap. So thats the first morning nap in about 2 weeks i think.

watching Bride Wars on sky anytime, can turn the subtitles off now she's asleep. Its pretty funny and makes one wonder how far women will go to get what they want. we're pretty devious when we want to be!

Friday, 22 January 2010

Cheese sauce

I know she likes cheese sauce as its the only way to get any fish into her. But for tonights dinner i did quorn mince in cheese sauce with spaghetti pasta. And she WOLFED it down. Properly opening her mouth before the spoon was near and everything. Ate a massive bowlful then a bit of garlic bread too. So is that the key? Everything in cheese sauce??! It is such a relief to see her actually enjoying a meal and very relaxing feeding her when she's like that. It's like a weight off my shoulders. If only i thought it would continue i'd be a very happy chappy.

Memories of the day: belly-laughing at me chasing her on my hands and knees down the hall in her walker, getting sloppy kisses (and hair pulls!) when i hold my arms out to her when she's in the walker, extra special high fives with daddy, almost falling asleep in highchair watching Iggle Piggle before bed.
Ok tried the HV suggestion of feeding little and often, finally a week after seeing her. It makes no difference. Sat her in highchair 2 hrs after breakfast for some mashed potato and that tomato sauce i did yesterday. Again the crying before spoon went near her aarrggghh. Got a few mouthfuls in by giving her a spoon to chew on, which sometimes works, then gave up. Two hours afterwards again tried with some beef casserole, this time by her munching on a breadstick i got a few sneaky spoons in before total meltdown occurred.
Think this battle is only going to end when she can spoon feed herself...

Managed to do the ironing this morning as she was amusing herself on the floor with toys. In between stopping her grabbing the dogs hair or tails. Ozzy just jumps up out the way but worried that grumpy old Chicco will not be impressed. The poor things get moved around the room every few minutes.

Off to hoover the front room whilst Poppy's having nap (yay! first one for 3 days). Quite embarrassing when she spends a large amount of time trying to pick up the bits of fluff off the carpet practising her pincer grip.

Thursday, 21 January 2010

Good day but no naps

Met up with two good friends today with babies of similar age to Poppy. It's so therapeutic to be able to talk frankly and openly with others in the same situation as me, not those yummy mummys who supposedly have the perfect baby who never cries and eats all thats put in front of them. It makes you realise you're not alone in this Battle of the Baby despite how you sometimes feel!
Couldnt face a food fight at someone elses house so Poppy had a dairylea sandwich for lunch which she ate without a murmur, thank goodness. If only i was happy for her to live off sandwiches i think life would be pretty much stress free...Made her beef casserole tonight, and her daddy, but apparently she didnt like it. Although how she knew she didnt before the spoon was near her mouth is quite an ability. And how she knows that its fruit or yoghurt on the spoon before also tasting it absolutely baffles me, tho to take the positives out of the situation at least she will eat fruit and yoghurt. And sandwiches/toast/garlic bread. Oh the variety is overwhelming...
Also made up a batch of vegetable and tomato sauce tonight, in theory to go onto pasta or potatoes or fish etc etc. Will update you tomorrow how it goes down for lunch with some mashed potato. Bet you're on tenderhooks now ;-)

Did Wii ACtive again this evening as hubby was home until 9pm before night shift. Think my legs will be feeling it tomorrow, so thank god its a rest day on my 30 day challenge.

Poppy moments for the day: giggling at C's house from tummy tickles, rolling about the living room before bed whilst supposedly watching Iggle Piggle, finally doing a high five with Daddy at suppertime.

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

To make up for my chocolate lapse earlier had a healthy M&S meal and some veg, seeing as hubby is at work. Also finally did some exercise as soon as Poppy went to bed, bought one of those Wii Active personal trainer thingies, much better than the Wii fit. One plus of her having no naps is she went to sleep without a noise in a few mins, rather than the 45 mins of screaming i had last night which was a relief.

Good things about today: more offering me her toys, was in good mood for first hour after getting up, pulling herself up to standing really well at baby group on a toy truck, funny seeing her steal every single toy from whatever baby she could reach at the group too.

Think i deserve a nice hot bath and read of my book now. Charging thru the True Blood series now, only got 3 books left i think after this one.

Chocolate fix secondary to grumpy baby

Due to a baby group this afternoon between 1 and 230pm there has been a lack of napping today. This week Poppy has been flat out refusing a morning nap unless in the car somewhere, despite being obviously tired. So afternoon naps are therefore even more important in terms of preserving her good(ish) mood and my sanity. Bit unsure then about going to an afternoon group and it wasnt so good that next week i may forfeit any sort of peace during my day, and produce a grumpy overtired baby.

About an hour ago i was hiding in the middle room sorting out the bookshelf while she screamed her head off in the front room. My logic is whats the point about worrying if she screams when i'm out of the room even more than when i'm in it? And because that room contains the leftover xmas chocolates i ended up scoffing maltesers when i'm on weight watchers. Oh well they were damn good.

10 minutes to bathtime yay.


Why is it that Poppy's screech goes right through me?! Is it some sort of built-in protective bodily mechanism that sets all your nerves on edge, in case the baby is in some sort of danger?

Dont think that the Jumperoo can be that much of a threat so I'll carry on watching Baby Breakfast Club with Sheree Murphy. Its good to know that famous people have the same battles we do with their kids.

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Mixed day

Hi everyone,
This is my first post so I'll try to keep it concise.

Had a break from the daily feeding battle at lunchtime today. We went out shopping for my Mums birthday pressie and fed Poppy in BHS cafe, and left her Daddy do it today. When i was up buying a coffee she was fine, when i returned to the table she started playing up straight away. Are the two linked?? I think so...

Also how can she sleep for 2.5 hours and still be grumpy? Ended up driving about for half hour as got so frustrated by the whining after she'd only been up an hour just to get a bit of peace.

On the plus side at bathtime tonight she seemed to pass me her bath toy! So i said "ta" and passed it back. So she did it again..awww.. We'll see tomorrow if i can get her to do it again. Yesterday she got the hang of doing a high five in her highchair, tho whether that was just a way to distract me from trying to feed her i'm not sure.

Only two and a half weeks until a weekend away, just myself and my husband. Trying to keep that in mind when i want to sellotape her dummy in her mouth.