3 months on..

Wow. 3 and a half months ago was my last post. Just before I returned to work after having a prolonged period of sick leave due to the arthritis. And here I am again, off on sick leave due to the arthritis. And feeling very annoyed and frustrated that the treatment that seemed to have finally kicked in has begun to stop working, and that my long-awaited consultant appointment STILL has not dropped through the letterbox.

So what's been happening since I last posted? A brief rundown of the highlights that spring to mind are (not necessarily in date order, just in a random order of how my mind works):

- Poppy turning 2 in April. Celebrated by a day at home playing with new toys, some time with just the three of us and lunch by the seafront, followed by a family meal involving more presents and 3 renditions of 'Happy Birthday' and candle blowing-out. Good times. A party at the local family center followed on the saturday which was a huge success and once again surprised and delighted us with our friends generosity after all the wonderful gifts she received. Thanks to you all.

- Finally feeling like I was back on form at work, clinical-skills wise and professionally. Long may it continue once this (hopefully short) break is over.

- Lots of lovely weekends enjoying the unseasonally warm spring weather by spending many hours outside. Thanks to birthday gifts of a playhouse, new big-girl slide and sandpit Poppy is content to while away the time in her wellies and a coat no matter how cold it is, usually with bare feet even if it is really not warm enough for it. She seems to be an outdoor person, happiest pottering around digging up treasures in the sand or lying prostrate on her belly examining and decimating the ant population of the garden.

- Family time over Easter and the Royal Wedding bank holidays with hubby's relatives in Somerset. Again thanks to the weather this even involved a paddling pool and ice-cream, picnics and sunbathing.

- A spa day courtesy of Poppy/Hubby for Mother's Day. Nothing much more to say other than 'Ahhhhh...and relax..'

- Hiring in a cleaner. This is a bittersweet highlight as while most women would, in theory, love to give over those dreaded household chores to someone else, in my case it is because I am unable to keep up with said chores thanks to my illness. We produce a surprising amount of washing and ironing for only two adults and one child, which hubby manages to keep in check thanks to me having wrists too painful to lift the iron; however with his shifts and me working almost full-time too our house mostly seems to consist of mucky carpets, dust and a grimy bathroom. All of the time. We literally only have the time to give a quick clean if we have guests to stay. I know a lot of working families are in the same boat but we are lucky enough to be able to afford to pay for some help, and are fed up of the battle, so we thought why not?

- Acceptance (to some degree) that we are unlikely to have another child in the near future. This is quite a big one, as after strenuously protesting against ever having to give birth again for at least a year after I had Poppy, I had mellowed to the idea. Then wham! the arthritis was diagnosed. And the yucky nasty medication I am on means that if I accidentally got pregnant then it would have to be terminated or be born very severely malformed. Now, after the brief respite of relatively good health, it looks like more medication is to be added to the cocktail; this would complicate matters in withdrawing my treatment in order to get pregnant and the chances of me becoming very unwell whilst TTC are high because I would be meds-free. Therefore, while this has been a difficult one to come to terms with I feel that I am slowly getting there. The intense flares of jealousy that I felt when another friend announced she was pregnant again are now presenting as little aches in my chest instead.

- Poppy turning into a real, live, proper Little Girl. She is so adorable, loveable, beautiful, full of life, spirited, determined, opinionated, chatty, bossy, wicked, energetic. The new photo banner for this blog is of her at her birthday party, upside down in the bouncy castle, having the time of her life with her cousins and friends. This year's party was so different. She didn't need or look for me or hubby for the whole 2 hours. She's her own little person, content in the safe world we have created for her, happy surrounded by the family she knows and loves.

- A Day Out With Thomas at the Gwili railway. Lots of fun with Poppy having her first ever ride on a train, spending the day with a friend and her family and Poppy's little mate E. Being thankful that I have friends to rely on for support and help when hubby is at work and I want a day out, but can't manage it alone.

I think that's enough of my random recollections for now. Back to the job that I can manage to do sat down at the laptop - selling our unwanted junk on Ebay. That is now including some of Poppy's clothes which before now have all been safely squirrelled away in the loft 'just in case'. You see? Acceptance in its purest form.