Spoon fed in nursery-what a surprise!

Yes, that's right, Poppy was fed fish pie for lunch in nursery. Little minx. Won't take anything from a spoon for us apart from yoghurt. AND when i picked her up at 1230 she was just waking up from a nap in a bouncer chair in the main baby room. At home she won't sleep in the dark in the cot sometimes! At least she's being easy for them though, it would be awful if she wouldn't eat or sleep and was really miserable.

Got some stuff for work in my shopping trip. Shopping for work clothes is no where near exciting as normal shopping, and I've been reminded just how difficult it is for me to find smart trousers in my leg length. In the end I got a pair of brown linen from Next Petite which aren't really smart but will be ok, a pair of navy smart in M&S that I'll have to shorten, and pair of slim fit black in New Look that again are casual. Hopefully with a smartish top they'll be ok. Got a few tee-shirts that I'll smarten up with a corsage and a nautical knitted top. That'll do. It's a change anyway.

To try and keep me motivated with the training I got a pair of running leggings and a top, ones with stay-dry technology (!) as I find it really hot in my old scabby jogging bottoms. Tried on a lovely Adidas running jacket but resisted, perhaps I'll have a look online to see if I can find a bargainous one.

Nursery - done

It went fine. She cried when I walked away and left her but then played the whole time until I picked her up at 1100. Phew. Being braver tomorrow and leaving her until 1230 so she can eat lunch there. They won't know what's hit them ;-)

Have a morning of shopping planned, dragged out my workwear collection and decided that it really needs updating. Big style. I need some colour in there! It's pretty much all black and white as had to get rid of some stuff that is seriously old and worn out. Have a 20% off voucher for New Look and a store card, so that's my best bet me thinks.

STILL waiting for my nappy accessories. Emailed her again and she's sending out a part order of what they have in stock. Also one of the main things I was waiting for was the liners and she pointed out that I hadn't ordered any. Oops! Hope she can add them to the order and send out asap.

Spring is sprung & madness has set in

The weather has been really warm here today, so much so that i even dressed in cutoffs and a sleeveless top! Mad eh? Poppy and I had a half hour outside playing too before lunch, after a 2 hours nap for us both after that very early start. However due to that long nap she then wouldn't nap this afternoon, it ended up us walking the dogs with her in the pram before dinner just to get in a half hour of peace.
THEN at bedtime, after a very bad dinnertime during which she only ate a slice of turkey, she was so hungry she downed her bottle but still wouldn't sleep for over an hour! AARRGGHH!! She's having the terrible two's at one, i swear. She has tantrums over everything - nappies, getting dressed, getting undressed, eating, wanting to be picked up, wanting to be put down...She almost smacked her head on the side of the wooden bedstead earlier as she chucks her head back when she's having a tantrum, it's only cos I caught her about a millimeter before she made contact she didn't hurt herself.

When oh when will everything not be a battle??

Clocks changing

Ok I naievely thought that with the clocks going forward that Poppy would have a lie-in until at least 7am (which is actually 6am for our body clocks). No such luck - 554am she woke up (which is actually 454 for our body clocks). How is that possible?? I tried bringing her into bed with me as hubby was just getting up for work but didn't work...the weird thing is she seems normal and not at all like she's been up since 5am.

We both slept like crap last night too, you know when you can just tell your partner is not sleeping next to you when you wake? I woke myself coughing and needing a drink and before that hadn't really settled, we randomly stopped into a new housing estate near our home yesterday and saw a lovely house so that was on my mind. How lush would it be to own a 4 bed house, with en-suite, downstairs cloak and decent size garden? In my dreams...

Nursery worries

Poppy starts on monday, and although I'm only planning on leaving her there for a couple of hours I'm still shitting myself. There are so many "What if?" that keep going around in my head! What if:
- she won't eat
- she won't sleep there
- she cries and they can't settle her
- she hurts herself and wants me or her Daddy
- she signs to them and they don't know
- they change her nappy and get the cloth nappy thing wrong, she only has 1 change of clothes
- another child is nasty/mean to her and i'm not there to look after her

etc etc

And also i realised last night that as it's Easter she'll be off on the friday and monday, so after settling her in for 3 days she'll be away from there for 5 days. I'm glad that hubby's got the following week off, when I start back to work, so we have the option of continuing the part time for another day or two before she's there for a whole day.

Wine and a curly wurly

This is my evening tonight as hubby is getting up with Poppy tomorrow. I really should go take a shower, haven't had a chance due to Poppy being stuck to me, but decided that could wait until the morning when this was the other option.

Watching a programme about Eddie Izzard doing the marathons for Sport Relief. It is an immense feat. His toenail was hanging off, ewww. It is amazing really what he has done.

Poppy still has the diarrhoea, tried out some medicine one of my pharmacist friends recommended so we'll see how she is in the morning. It's been a little better today and she has eaten twice. As tomorrow is Friday though I think perhaps another phonecall to the GP is in order just to check out how long these things can last. Also another friend has suggested probiotic yoghurts so hubby will be down the shop first thing tomorrow!

Downloaded the training plan for the Race for Life earlier, I'm doing it with two friends and we're hoping to jog it. It looks ok, based on interval training and building up the endurance. Hope to start perhaps next week, got plenty of time as it's not until July, but want to get into it asap as knowing me I'll stop for whatever reason and end up having to restart the programme at least once ;-)

Some photos of the lovely cuddles we've been having while she's been ill

D&V - ** sorry if TMI **

Ok I'm officially fed up of diarrhoea. I had decided earlier I much preferred it over baby sick - I know, I spend too much time alone with my child - but after the latest explosion I'm not sure. Hubby just went upstairs to the loo before work, got to the end of the hall and turned around to come get me, you could smell it from there. When we got up there Poppy was asleep on her front, so hubby picked her up and laid her on the change station, then opened the sleeping bag. Oh. My. God. Due to her being on her front (this is only the third time she's been asleep on her belly by the way) the poo was up to her chin under her night clothes. I ran her to the shower clothes and all, holding her out in front of me at arms length to prevent the assault on my nostrils. After hosing her down and soaping head to toe she resembled a baby again. The joys of parenthood. Thank god hubby hadn't left for work yet, I can just imagine discovering that gem on my own.

How long is this going to last? She hasn't been sick in 36 hours but this diarrhoea situation just isn't improving. I suppose until she eats some solids there's nothing to digest, she won't eat food only drink a bit of milk. GP saw her yesterday and checked her thoroughly, and basically said let it run its course. And run it is, literally everywhere...At least today she's been awake more, yesterday we were so scared as she slept the whole day on our laps and wouldn't really wake for a drink. And she had a temperature too, something that we've never had to deal with before (luckily I know, seeing as she's almost 1). Seeing that thermometer saying 38.6 was a shock, although how much of that was because she wanted to cwtch into us I'm not sure. So Calpol and stripping her off were promptly administered, bringing it down to 37.8 by the time the gp took it an hour later.

The irony is although we haven't started using cloth nappies properly yet, they would probably contain all this poo a lot better than a disposable ;-)

First day in a cloth nappy

Well the waterproof cover finally arrived today that I'd been waiting for, so tried out the cloth nappies. So far so good - no leaks in the two that I've tried and she doesn't seem any different or uncomfortable by feeling wet. Don't think hubby was too impressed when he changed her for swimming, he said that it was all wet...that's kinda the point tho as disposables absorb the wee and store it in the sludge stuff, whereas cloth nappies are just that. That's why a waterproof cover is required. Men.

SO I had been watching an ebay bid for a set of 14 nappies with some boosters and covers and decided to go for it. Had them for a bargainous price of £82 plus postage, seeing as they've not been used and would retail for over £200 all in. Now got to get sell on the millions of size 5 huggies disposables i'd bought ages ago! probably keep some as we'll use them at night, don't want to leave her in a cloth for 12 hours.

Can't believe Poppy will be 1 in two weeks. She has an hour in the nursery on monday morning as a trial, will have to go for a quick coffee or something to pass the hour rather than sitting in the car outside!

Street View is scary

Just came across Google Street View. It's very weird looking at all the places I know so easily. Checked out all the family addresses and no-one's cars are there, so must have been taken in the week during the day, before I had Poppy ;-)

Fancied trying out an evening course in jewellery making today, I read about it and thought that I would really like to do it. Can't find anything that's ongoing now around here though, will probably have to wait until Sept when the new terms start. Hopefully Mum can sit Poppy the evenings that Dave is working. Maybe once I'm back in work (3 weeks! yikes) that desire to do anything with my free time except collapse in front of the tv will fade...

Got some reusable nappies from ebay, just waiting for them to arrive now. Only bought a few to try out for a day, before we spend out on a load of them. Checked with the nursery and they don't mind using them, they must really think I'm a "new age" parent, what with BLW, sign language and cloth nappies!

Happy Mother's Day to all the mummies

Had a lovely present from Poppy (Hubby) for Mother's day - a day at the local spa. Includes a choice of a massage or a facial and the use of the spa facilities. Ah I can see a relaxing few hours ahead sometime in the next few weeks..

My miserable mood was still present a bit this morning, but I managed to get myself out of it pretty quickly thank goodness. Had lunch out with my family which was lovely, apart from my hubby not being able to be there as he was nights last night. Poppy ate loads and made everyone laugh with her eating, don't think many people have seen a baby who eats everything with their hands.

Just watching Jo Frost Extreme Parenting from last week. There's one RIDICULOUS teenager - 13 - who is allowed to dress up like a ho and try to get into clubs. THIRTEEN. Don't think I even knew about nightclubs when I was that age. The outfits she's got are practically non-existent! I somehow don't think Poppy will be going down that route. Her Daddy already jokes about making sure all his colleagues know what she looks like in case she sneaks out to town.

Viewed the Water Babies photo's today after lunch. Was disappointed really, was expecting to have the perfect photo a la the promotional shots off the website, and to have loads to choose from. We only had 5 and of those 3 had her with one hand out of shot, and the one's with her central in the shot she had a face like she was shitting herself! We did manage to decide on one to have a 20x16 of though, and to get the 6x4 proofs for free there was a minimum £200 order, so also chose two to have as 10x8 of which we had one free. Thank goodness we had some money towards it from xmas we had as gifts for her.

Why do I still struggle with lack of naps??

The day spent at my parents was going fine until afternoon nap time. After an hour of laying Poppy back down from standing up, shooshing, switching the mobile back on, etc etc I'd had enough. But it still upset me. You'd think after 11 months I'd be used to it. It just feels like whenever I deviate from our usual routine where she has a nap in her own cot, it ends in an afternoon of tears, me feeling like shit, a grumpy Poppy and me wondering how I'll get through to bedtime. I was so annoyed at her when I'd driven home and she woke up when I got her out of the car, I just wanted to get away from her! Arghh! I;m sure that makes me an awful mother. I tried telling my hubby that when he gave me my mothers day gift early, to cheer me up, I don't deserve a mothers day present...The stupid thing is I know I'm over-reacting but I can't stop myself descending into the vicious spiral. Oh well you live and learn.

Teething sucks!

Title says it all really, had an unhappy baby overnight and most of the day but hey ho that's life. To save all our sanity Daddy took her to the shop to buy milk when I was trying to cook dinner, as we were about to throw ourselves from the upstairs window onto the patio if the constant, piercing, whinging didn't stop. That half hour of peace (she didn't make a sound in the car) did as intended and we all enjoyed a dinner of saute potatoes, rocket and parmesan salad (not Poppy - green stuff? yuck..), steak for Daddy and Poppy and fish for Mummy and Poppy. As you can see Poppy just eats pretty much whatever we've got which makes life much easier. Although at one point she did spit out a piece of half eaten steak to sample a pea, much to her fathers disgust.

The birthday party was a huge success on Wednesday. The birthday boy had a great time, despite a chest infection and a few bumps to the head down to some adventurous exploring. Poppy also enjoyed immensely, apart from a nasty accident after trying to climb onto a baby ride-on when my back was turned - she went headfirst onto what is possibly the hardest floor ever and ended up with a bleeding mouth. As this was the first time she had ever had an accident that caused her to bleed, panic set in and I wobbled over to my friend who abandoned her sons nappy change to look for the wound and get Poppy's drink and dummy. Ever practical, B, the mum of the birthday boy, found a first aid kit but not much could be done except wait for her to calm down and for it to stop bleeding. Which it did in a few minutes, although it took a lot longer for my heartrate to resemble normal and the threat of tears to subside. Lesson learned-make sure that you carry baby with you everywhere when you cannot see them from where you are going, even though she was right behind me when i turned away and crossed the floor to the vehicle in what seemed to be warp speed.

No swimming lesson this week, has been cancelled, so we're spending the day at Nanny and Bampa's house to a) see them, obv b) get out of the house so hubby can sleep after night shift c) give my back a break by giving someone else a turn at walking her about. Although I have ordered a nifty gadget from the U.S that promises to give your back a break. Lets just hope it arrives in time before I pop a disc.

Sunny day

The weather has been lovely the past few days. I made the most of the sunshine this morning by taking Poppy for a walk on her trike around the local lake. She loved watching all the bird life, especially the madness when someone fed them some bread! Got back just in time for the Tesco grocery delivery too. Then had a busy time during her nap baking a batch of the sweet potato muffins for my friends little boy's 1st birthday party tomorrow. Was good timing as the last lot I made just ran out so did a batch for us too. I'm also in charge of jam and dairylea sandwiches (not a combination, two different sets) so my plan is to make those fresh tomorrow morning during her morning nap, as the party starts at midday.
This is the first in a long line of 1st birthday parties! Already got invites to another two, then Poppy's herself, and know of another one at least she's invited to. Then over the next few months all the younger babies we know will also turn one, although with me back at work perhaps not seeing them at babygroups will mean we lose out on an invite ;-) Who knows what to buy them all, I'm sure they've got plenty of toys already! Perhaps some clothes or Argos vouchers?
Definitely having an early night tonight, got carried away on the internet looking at cloth nappies last night until gone 10 - late night for me, that...

Early start

Awake at 540am today. I don't know why it puts me in such a bad mood when she wakes up at 5-something, as if it is 603 then I don't feel the same way. Makes no sense I know, it's completely irrational, but I feel so p**sed off when this happens! She is an early riser but that is just too early.

Got no groceries in, having to do an internet food shop now while she's napping. Bloody Asda had no slots available but surprise, surprise the more expensive Tesco does. Oh well we need food, coming tomorrow lunchtime now. That's the trouble when we go away for a few days when supplies are running low, don't have time to go the supermarket. And there's no way I could manage to do a whole weeks shop on my own with Poppy in the trolley ;-)

Going to baby group this morning, it's really cold outside today. Got loads of layers on and the fireplace but still feel cold! And then the place we go has go underfloor heating so we both end up red-cheeked within half hour, as we're playing on the floor. Only 3 weeks left where we're able to go to it though, so going to make the most of the time we have left until I'm back at work..

Have we got it cracked?

After 3 days of leaving Poppy to cry for 5 minutes between going back in to lie her down, she went to sleep herself at bedtime without a murmur. Is that it?? Wait until tomorrow for the next thrilling installment...

It has been sunny this afternoon, it makes me feel so much HAPPIER when the weather is fine and resembling summer. I know it's freezing when you step outside, but when i'm driving it gets quite warm inside the car. Hubby and I were reminiscing on the way to the shops about the two summers that I was in college and how it seemed to be sunny and hot every weekend, and how we spent every sunday at Llangennith beach (down the Gower coast). Good times. I'm sure we're looking back through rose-tinted glasses and it wasn't literally every weekend, but whatever it was good thinking of happy times. I almost wrote happier times then, but it's not really, just different to our life now. Who could feel happier than when they're watching their totally gorgeous baby crawling around at playgroup, or shouting dada at no-one in particuluar, or enjoying bathtime with Daddy? We were just thinking of the days when we had no ties to anything, no worries, no money but we didn't know any different so it wasn't an issue. Now we worry constantly, except for the times when we look at our daughter and wonder how could we produce something so perfect and completely captivating.

I'm obviously feeling quite whimsical tonight! Sorry about that. Perhaps the glass of wine I've had is helping (I've got a lie-in of sorts tomorrow, not an endless one but until about 9ish at least).

Update on the crochet situation: due to the wonder of YouTube the single stitch is now clear to me. Also showed me that I need a less fluffy yarn so that I can see where my stitches are, before I progress onto the nice soft stuff that I bought. Hoped to get time earlier to call into the market but got carried away in the shops, was gutted when I realised as I feel like I will not let this conquer me and wanted another go tonight ;-)

Don't have the hands for crochet

Or the brains me-thinks. I borrowed some teach-yourself crochet books from a friend and after a few weeks of them staring me down I got around to buying some needles and wool. I remember doing it with my nanna when I was little, after I got bored of knitting, so assumed I'd pick it up easy enough. How wrong I was! I am soooo good at the first line of chain stitch but after that it keeps going to pot. I can't seem to see the V the book keeps on about, let alone spear it with the needle for the next row of stitches. Think I need someone to physically show me it and where I'm going wrong, will have to get some time with my nanna with someone to distract Poppy so I can concentrate.

So after about 2.5 hours in total I've given up for today and eaten some yummy WW victoria sponge cakes. My fingers hurt, my hands hurt and my wrists hurt. Thinking about it with hindsight, perhaps it's not the best hobby to take up when you have possible arthitic joints.

Have got MTV on and this old Rhianna song is on that reminds me of being out drinking and dancing, the one that the chorus is 'hey mr dj, pon de replay'. Ah the good old days of being young and carefree. I still love to dance now, but the only time I do is doing the Hot Dog dance at about 720am to the closing credits of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. God I'm cool.

Sleep training started

Decided to bite the bullet today as the cold has pretty much gone, and she was up at 530am needing a bottle and cuddle. Which is all very well when I'm off work but seeing as my return is coming around with ever increasing speed, I don't want to be any more exhausted than I have to be considering I could cause someone harm at work by getting something wrong. Had to go to her nursery to pay fees and do paperwork at 930am so her morning nap was out anyway, so tried a late afternoon nap as she wasn't tired until then. Everything I read said that most babies can't keep it up for an hour, the screaming that is, but once again Poppy defied all logic and persisted until I gave up after an hour. Thankfully this made her very tired by bedtime so that she only stood up twice and cried for about half an hour all in. Who knew that leaving your child to cry pitifully, hanging over the cot with snot and tears running down their face, could make you feel so helpless, upset, sicky, annoyed!(just sleep dammit), depressed and determined all in one big jumbled emotional mess.

On the amusing side to the day, the nursery haven't had a baby who follows BLW principles before. Oh what a mess they'll get themselves into I'm sure! Did warn them about putting down a splash mat under the highchair, but it'll be nice to only have to clean up after her evening meal once i start working. Not sure if the mention of baby signing tipped her into thinking 'what the hell have i taken on here?' but whatever, they seem willing to give anything a try and didn't laugh in my face.

Early start

Poppy was awake at 530am this morning, its now only 7am and I'm exhausted. Surely by 11 months old sleep should be established? She was so good for the first 6 months, now it seems to be going backwards in so many ways - early waking, night time waking, no self-settling anymore, not being able to start my evening until 8pm.
Got to go into her nursery today to pay for the first lot of fees in advance to secure her place. Will probably be near £500, yikes. Need to ask all about napping and feeding times and routines, the questions we asked when we booked her in were vastly different as she was only 8 weeks old then! Didn't even know then what we'd want to be asking when it was almost time for her to go there.